tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3397536281585357054.post4048956445066563899..comments2023-10-02T11:10:32.800-04:00Comments on Through The Never: Dangerous Lines: A Search for a Beloved HeartLucas Pedersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13072101177732602824noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3397536281585357054.post-8803355283695424612007-04-29T21:25:00.000-04:002007-04-29T21:25:00.000-04:00Fab, thanks...and the same goes for you. I'm alway...Fab, thanks...and the same goes for you. I'm always happy to see new faces.Lucas Pedersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13072101177732602824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3397536281585357054.post-54204508944362204732007-04-29T04:16:00.000-04:002007-04-29T04:16:00.000-04:00Hi, just wanted to repeat what I posted on Stewart...Hi, just wanted to repeat what I posted on Stewart's blog: I really liked your story. Two brothers, a different concept of life and love. Well written.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for stopping by my blog.Fabhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11727490011876675399noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3397536281585357054.post-72611594282330525312007-04-27T21:30:00.000-04:002007-04-27T21:30:00.000-04:00Chrisrina, I can't wait until that day either. I'm...Chrisrina, I can't wait until that day either. I'm hoping, I'm praying, I'm doing Yoga....okay maybe not Yoga, ouch, but I'm being patient and I'm working my ass off to get there. Someday, perhaps. And thanks for dtopping by! Always a treat!Lucas Pedersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13072101177732602824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3397536281585357054.post-91510594552099414362007-04-27T21:18:00.000-04:002007-04-27T21:18:00.000-04:00I missed another Stewart assignment? NOOOOO! I lik...I missed another Stewart assignment? NOOOOO! <BR/><BR/>I like what you have posted. You're very good at the details in your stories. Can't wait to hear the day you get published.LoveRundlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01177659277273835858noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3397536281585357054.post-53379413859914931442007-04-27T15:35:00.000-04:002007-04-27T15:35:00.000-04:00Travis, yes and no. I'm continuing the story, alth...Travis, yes and no. I'm continuing the story, although not on my blog. Val did have orders, but it was to kill both Will and his wife. Instead Val chose to kidnap her, and yes, to get his brother back. Get Will to change back into a demon so Val can fly the night skies with him again. to his demonic form and demeaner.So it's a race against time to get his wife back. And yes, Val ma very well love his brother, although not in the usual manner. I'll have to finish the story to see what happens. Int eh next part Will is slowly changing back to his demon form and demeaner. We'll see.<BR/>Thanks for yourinput and it's great to see you again!Lucas Pedersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13072101177732602824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3397536281585357054.post-14669201415269205292007-04-27T00:45:00.000-04:002007-04-27T00:45:00.000-04:00Hey Lucas! I really liked this one.The way you wr...Hey Lucas! I really liked this one.<BR/><BR/>The way you wrote Val, my first thought was that he was under orders - especially when the wife came in and he snatched her. That was logical and made sense when I finished the piece. Take the wife, take away the basis for love, and Will reverts to his demon self.<BR/><BR/>But as I thought about it, I saw a dichotomy - Val loves his brother Will. What a surprise to see that in the story. And that made sense to me too. Of course Val wants his demon brother back, and for a more compelling reason than Will's betrayal of demon-kind.<BR/><BR/>Did you mean to convey that? Or did I read more into the story?Travis Codyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06192526507760146748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3397536281585357054.post-52044774971833841022007-04-26T13:28:00.000-04:002007-04-26T13:28:00.000-04:00Thanks everyone!!!I won't say that this was hard f...Thanks everyone!!!<BR/>I won't say that this was hard for me, it was. There were moments when I wanted Val to just slaughter Will, but held back. The story does lack in the character interaction parts of it. As well as character development. Still, I am putting this story in a folder and will re-write it when I got the time, cut out lines that don't belong, and spruce up a bit. Also, yes, I will continue the story. Probably not on the blog, though. I've got a lot goin on right now and barely have enough time to work on the projects I'm playing with right now. However, this stroy has promise and I want to know if Will will ever see his beloved Angela again. Sooner or later, I'll find out. Probably later. Yet, this was very fun, despite it being hard. It was a great exersise and I want to thank Stewart for the assignment. As always, it was a pleasure, as it is a pleasure seeing all of you and reading you comments and golden feedback. It helps a lot. Thnaks again, to everyone and their willingness to read this my work.Lucas Pedersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13072101177732602824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3397536281585357054.post-53695668402877951412007-04-26T09:41:00.000-04:002007-04-26T09:41:00.000-04:00Nice, Lucas. I really like the idea of this - the ...Nice, Lucas. I really like the idea of this - the demon brothers. <BR/><BR/>I would suggest taking out this line, though, as I think it actually takes away from the tension and slips out of point of view a bit: Val took his only love!<BR/><BR/>Overall, I liked it. I hope you keep working on it.RK Sterlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01034917381901499281noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3397536281585357054.post-85075391092445257452007-04-26T08:00:00.000-04:002007-04-26T08:00:00.000-04:00Good job, Lucas. The tension was definitely there....Good job, Lucas. The tension was definitely there.Susan Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05566328070072489203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3397536281585357054.post-87283279522205887672007-04-26T05:50:00.000-04:002007-04-26T05:50:00.000-04:00Interesting that we both chose brothers...I think ...Interesting that we both chose brothers...I think this work shows something...I think one of the things that you can work on to improve your other work is the character interaction as it relates to theme. I know you like to drive home the stake so to speak, and let the blood fly, but as I've said before readers are horrified when they care about a character, when there is something there that they can hook onto.<BR/><BR/>This is nicely done. Keep up the good work.Stewart Sternberg (half of L.P. Styles)https://www.blogger.com/profile/00895152179113722902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3397536281585357054.post-15703657959741672007-04-25T23:53:00.000-04:002007-04-25T23:53:00.000-04:00Hi Lucas...This was very well done...the underlyin...Hi Lucas...This was very well done...the underlying tension and even love from both sides. The demon brother wanting his blood to come back to the fold. Thank youVinny "Bond" Marinihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07033455144526676371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3397536281585357054.post-41345105305249730092007-04-25T22:36:00.000-04:002007-04-25T22:36:00.000-04:00This is one of those stories that makes you want t...This is one of those stories that makes you want to know more. I'd like to know more about the brothers and what they are (were?). But that's the point of a good short story huh? To make you want more.SQThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04251030404220909306noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3397536281585357054.post-67991608920133191372007-04-25T19:49:00.000-04:002007-04-25T19:49:00.000-04:00I enjoyed the concept; the half-brothers, so diffe...I enjoyed the concept; the half-brothers, so different and so similar, the line that has been crossed. The story might run a bit long for its purpose. The face to face encounter could stand a bit of trimming. But over all...yes, a good story.Jonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12773667447659795825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3397536281585357054.post-15911650273999435852007-04-25T11:41:00.000-04:002007-04-25T11:41:00.000-04:00Nicely done, Lucas. The struggle to remain human ...Nicely done, Lucas. The struggle to remain human in an inhuman world is a powerful theme.Charles Gramlichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02052592247572253641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3397536281585357054.post-60975887392689183462007-04-25T09:02:00.000-04:002007-04-25T09:02:00.000-04:00Good Job....I enjoyed this one alot...sometime you...Good Job....I enjoyed this one alot...sometime you piss me off...you know, making it so good that I wanna jump in the screen bring her back you bastard....hihihi...so it is not in a bad way....:)<BR/>have a good day my friend:)Drizelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16746480963316566816noreply@blogger.com