Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Ice Mountain: Part 2

.....As she set foot into the forest, Sarah unsheathed her sword.

All around her came low methodical thumping. Then something snarled.

She paused her stride, warily scanning the dim woodland surrounding her, almost embracing her. She saw things move in the dimness, through the corners of her eyes. But if she turned to look, nothing would be there. This was a haunted place, a place where demons and beasts of all sizes lurked and stalked. She better get moving.

The snarling came again, this time much closer. Sarah held her breath, listening. Her hand tightened on the handle of her sword. Her heart was like a mad drum in her chest that would not ease. Something crashed through the brush to her left. Gods they were so close!

She felt like running. Yet, even though she felt the urge to just forget everything, forget her son, consider him a terribly tragic loss, Sarah remained where she was. If she ran she would surely die.

A roar exploded to her right and she turned just in time to dodge a massive claw meant to lop off her head. She dropped to one knee, glanced up, saw the beast, saw its grotesque body of loose gray flesh and giant fanged maw, and then she drove her sword into its exposed belly. She sank it as deep as she could get it, which was all the wat to the hilt. The monster gasped, yelped and then she yanked the sword out of its stomach. The thing staggered back, long claws held over its gushing wound.

Sarah jumped to her feet as the the beast started to teeter. It fell backwards, crushing many small trees under its girth and making the earth itself tremble.

Now. Run.

She took off at a dead run through the forest, hurdling rocks and thorn bushes and dead falls. She ran, cutting various creatures in half or simply slicing off their heads as she went. Pain flashed through her right arm, the one holding the sword. She distantly felt warm liquid trickling. Something had reached outof the gloom and cut her. She knew it like she knew how to bake bread. Something like instinct.

Screaming, arm throbbing, Sarah emerged into a large clearing.

And then that's when they came for her...dozens of them.

(To be Continued)


Fab said...

Another cliff hanger... she's certainly a strong character. But then, wouldn't any mother for her child?

Charles Gramlich said...

It'll be interesting to look at this once it's all put together. One thing you might look at is whether the cliffhangers come to soon. I think you might be working them in to go with the length of a blog post, but maybe on the page they will be a little further apart.

I enjoy the description and action here.

Lucas Pederson said...

Fab, we'll find out just how much our Sarah can take. She's strong, sure, like any mother, but everyone has their breaking points. Sorry about the cliffhangers, but they have to be implemented, I think, for the blog sake. For future parts I'll soften the cliffhanger a bit, but there will still be one.

Charles, I'm with you on looking at this all put together. And yeah, I would definatly space those cliff hangers out much more further a part, if not get rid of most of them, or soften them a bit. I have posted whole stories here on the blog, but I get the impression that some folks can only take in so much story before they must move on, whatever the case may be. So I think these serial stories would work better for those who can't sit down to the computer and read an entire story fromt eh get go. I don't know, just an impression. Thanks Buddy!

Donnetta Lee said...

OOOOO. "dozens of them"

Now I've got the cold chills. Enjoyed!


Fab said...

Don't mind cliffhangers. I like my suspense in small dosages.

It's nice how the scene is set and the situation is described. Keep up the good work.

Lucas Pederson said...

Donnetta, thanks a bunch! Get ready for Part 3, coming soon.

Fab, cool beans!

Travis said...

Serializing a story on a blog is never easy to do. Many stories don't have that natural break to fit in a short space, so we create a break or shorten the piece, and mess with the flow.

For me, if the story grabs my attention and has plenty in it to hold my attention, then I'm not concerned with how long I'll be here reading it.

I like your strong female character and I'm looking forward to reading more about her quest.

Lucas Pederson said...

Travis, I agree. Serializing a story on a blog is difficult to pull off. But since my last attempt, The Fairy, it seemed to work. So here I am again. So far it seems to be working.

Thanks for the good words! This character may seem strong right now, but who knows what the forest will draw out of her. Who knows...

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